Tiger Woods Seriously Injured after Car Accident

[gRYFYN1]

Tiger's camp believe that Elin is essential to keeping his corporate sponsors and revamping his image.

So uh its better for his image to have to pay her 5 million signing bonus 80m/7 years to pretend to like him?

Maybe if she gets Boras as her agent she get the Yankees and Sox in the Meix and drive up the deal ... I mean she's not going to get Sabathia or Texiera money here, but Im sure he can at least push the signing bonus up, heck even Vanessa Bryant got a 4million ring ...

[SirKodiak]

maybe she could get a bonus of $2.5 million and a Bentley every time she wins the Most Valuable Trophy Wife award.

[Alloutwar]

I need more coverage on this.

Internet stories, and 24/7 coverage on ESPN, just isn't enough.

What's the difference between an Escalade and a golf ball?

Tiger can drive a golf ball 200 yards without hitting anything

[gRYFYN1]

I need more coverage on this.

Internet stories, and 24/7 coverage on ESPN, just isn't enough.

What's the difference between an Escalade and a golf ball?

Tiger can drive a golf ball 200 yards without hitting anything

How about:

Eldrick changing his cat nickname from "Tiger" to "Cheetah"

[Jeffy25]

What's the difference between an Escalade and a golf ball?

Tiger can drive a golf ball 200 yards without hitting anything

hahah

[OregonDuck1989]

How about:

Eldrick changing his cat nickname from "Tiger" to "Cheetah"

I think his mom's name is Cheetah

[200tang]

I think his mom's name is Cheetah

Your mom jokes aren't allowed on these boards. Please change it to something more appropriate.

[Alloutwar]

Maybe you didn't hear me...i need MORE TIGER COVERAGE

I want to read about Perez Hilton's feelings on the Tiger issue, while having ESPN's radio shows AND news coverage talking about Tiger's mistresses, WHILE continuously rerunning Chinese CGI animation of the event

And while I do that, my PC background will be this:



from the best news report out there:

"The domestic component alone has forced us to use a TFB unit," said Detective Sidney Goldberg, referring to officers who have been assigned to the Truly ****ing Bizarre portion of the investigation. "They have a very difficult job to do because in a case with as much ridiculous **** as this one, every off-the-wall scenario has to be explored, even the just-sort-of ****ed-up ones."

"I guess the only thing more outrageous is that this has been a major news item for over a week, and that people feel like they are entitled to know the private details of public figures' lives," Tolliver continued. "No matter which way you shake it, that's ****ing nuts."

[SirKodiak]

Afghanistan Could Distract Media From Tiger, Experts Fear

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - The morning after President Obama laid out his new strategy for the war in Afghanistan, media critics are expressing concern that the focus on Afghanistan could distract the media from getting to the bottom of the Tiger Woods story.

With the budgets of media companies stretched to the limit, there are worries that most outlets do not have the capacity to cover both a major war and an alleged scandal involving a prominent golfer and slutty nightclub employees.

Davis Logsdon, the director of the Media Studies Institute at the University of Minnesota, says the simultaneity of the Afghanistan and Tiger Woods stories will mean a "gut check" for the 24-hour news channels.

"Most news outlets will be forced to choose between analyzing the President's new troop deployment or airing Tiger's alleged voicemails," he said. "For the good of the Republic, I hope they will go with the voicemails."

[ragecage]

Afghanistan Could Distract Media From Tiger, Experts Fear

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - The morning after President Obama laid out his new strategy for the war in Afghanistan, media critics are expressing concern that the focus on Afghanistan could distract the media from getting to the bottom of the Tiger Woods story.

With the budgets of media companies stretched to the limit, there are worries that most outlets do not have the capacity to cover both a major war and an alleged scandal involving a prominent golfer and slutty nightclub employees.

Davis Logsdon, the director of the Media Studies Institute at the University of Minnesota, says the simultaneity of the Afghanistan and Tiger Woods stories will mean a "gut check" for the 24-hour news channels.

"Most news outlets will be forced to choose between analyzing the President's new troop deployment or airing Tiger's alleged voicemails," he said. "For the good of the Republic, I hope they will go with the voicemails."

where is Jean-Luc when you need him?

[gRYFYN1]

for AOW

Not enough Tiger Woods for you? Want to put the latest Tiger saga to music just in time for the holidays? Well, for your listening pleasure we've complied the ultimate Tiger Woods Christmas Album just in time for the holiday rush. We give you 12 songs to celebrate the 12 days of Christmas. Perfect for any member of the family. Order or download yours today!

1. Creep (TLC)

2. Bust Your Windows (Jazmine Sullivan)

3. Just A Friend (Biz Markie)

4. I Heard It Through The Grapevine (Marvin Gaye)

5. Please, Please, Please… (James Brown)

6. Confessions Pt.2 (Usher)

7. Who's That Girl?/Would I Lie To You? (The Eurythmics)

8. Tempted (The Squeeze)

9. I'm Gonna Have To Tell Her (Isaac Hayes)

10. Run For Your Life (The Beatles)

11. You Give Love A Bad Name (Bon Jovi)

12. I Apologize (Anita Baker)

[FloydtheBarber]

I think #12 should be All Apologies and 1 should be Radiohead's Creep

[gRYFYN1]

I think #12 should be All Apologies and 1 should be Radiohead's Creep

In fairness, it was written by Scoop Jackson,who has demonstrated he has difficulty comprehending anything outside African-American culture.

[rschusta24]

A blonde woman was removed from Tiger's home this morning in an SUV and taken to a hospital. No one knows exactly who the woman is.

[President]

This is the most interesting ******** ever