God is a Dodger fan

[justanewguy]

Russell 2:21-24

And on the second day it came to pass: the One from the Great White North, the keeper of the backstop, prayed and he asked of the Lord how the Chosen Ones in Blue might battle the angry bull. And verily, the Lord sent to Russell an angel, who spoke to Russell and delivered unto him Divine knowledge.

And it came to pass: Russell the Great spoke to the Chosen Ones, and said to them: "The Lord hath told me the weakness of the cursed ones. Thou willst aimeth thy swings at those who guard the bags. And the Lord shall striketh them with slowness, blindness, and numbness of the hands. And thou shalt be free to pass. Stand thee, 3 men, and have faith that thou shalt be delivered."

And the Chosen Ones followed the commands of Russell. And there 3 men safely stood as Russell approached with his staff. And from the Heavens above came a great power into his hands. And yea, mightily he struck a blow, for a hit of 2 bases, and delivered unto their home, the 3 men.

And once again it came to pass: the Lord silenced the City of Wind, and stole the breath from the mouths of those who looked on, and bound their hands so they may not applaud. And the horrid victory song of the Cub Tribe was not to be heard again. And it was good.

[beerchaser]

lol

if Chicago is the City of Wind, and their hearts have been broken by the Cubs loss, are they now the City of Broken Wind?

(sorry, Cubs fans. If the Dodgers were not in the playoffs this year, I would have been rooting for the Cubs.)

[justanewguy]

And in the spring, God did unleash a series of plagues upon the Chosen Ones, to testeth their faith and resolve.

And so it came to pass that God replaced the staff of Andruw with a wet noodle. And heavy were the struggles of the fallen Brave.

And then it came to pass that God sent an angel to strike the One with Five Tools in the back, that he may not walketh, nay even runneth or diveth.

And then it came to pass that God caused the One who was a Fish to lose his arm, and that God prevented it from reattachment.

And God did cause the white rock to become heavy like a boulder when thrown at the Chosen Ones

And upon seeing the havoc being wreaked upon God's Chosen Team, Lucifer did come to the City of Angels. And Lucifer did tempt and confuse the Impatient One of the Free Swings, and did distract him both on the dirt and on the grass. And Lucifer did trick the swings of the Chosen Ones when men were to be delivered to the pentagonal plate.

[filihok]

I would like to nominate this for the Dynasty Hall of Fame.

Excellent **** guys. I so want to be involved in this but my contributions would only drag down the average. Keep up the good work.

[RedsoxRockies]

Papi 7:13

And thy father of the Red Sock shal swingeth, with thy stick of god, and he shall blasteth those of Blue blood in thy utmost tournament of champions. Then he of thy eternal losers of Pittsburgh shalst place himself over thy head of the dred locked one, and bring un to Boston another cchampionship. And thy prophet Theo shal speaketh in success as the dredlocked one whineth over his Dodger loss.

[Swampdog]

Lol. Not bad at all, RR.

[haveacigar]

Papi 7:13

And thy father of the Red Sock shal swingeth, with thy stick of god, and he shall blasteth those of Blue blood in thy utmost tournament of champions. Then he of thy eternal losers of Pittsburgh shalst place himself over thy head of the dred locked one, and bring un to Boston another cchampionship. And thy prophet Theo shal speaketh in success as the dredlocked one whineth over his Dodger loss.

I think this is apocryphal.

[nuzzy62]

After slaying the Great Bear, the men in Blue encamped for four days. They heard mighty shouts from the Philliestines. And yea, the Philliestines had a Goliath named Howard who had smote many an enemy.
There was some fear in the Blue Camp. Who will slay the Goliath?

[RedsoxRockies]

The Gospel of Theo 3:9

2 years ago, thy great lord Theo commanded "Bring ye thy Drew" and those of Red Stockings brought him a Drew. He then Commanded "bring ye a Lugo" and he was broughteth a Lugo. He then taketh much gold and set his divine sights across the grand ocean, and spoke to his people "Bring me a Dice-K" and he was broughteth a Dice-K. After many struggles, Drew and Dice-K proved their worth, whilst Lugo betrayed the son of the lord, and left his church, to tear down that of his former master. Now it is October in the year 2008, and after winning the grand championship one year ago, thy men of the lord faceth thy fallen Angels, who's souls dwell eternally in hell. But, using their divine powers, thy Red Stockings shal truimph!

[haveacigar]

A reading from the book of Derek

A brash hurler of many years realized that he might face his former compatriots in battle, and was sent into a frenzy of emotion. Lo, the prophet of the mad dog was delivereth from the place of Saint Diego. He hath instructed the man that he should lead his fellow hurlers first into the citadel of Ivy, and deliver his team from the fierce blows of opponents. And yea, thou hast seen the man render those blows ineffective, allowing few spheres to rise to the heavens, rather they merely lay along the grass. The prophet finished his holy work, seeing that it was good. And the men of Blue rejoiced.

Amen

[Arctic Blast]

Blasphemous writings are AWESOME!

Keep it going, guys, really funny stuff.

[nuzzy62]

Lamentations 8:18
And God used the Philliestines to humble his people after their pride grew from slaying the Great Bear.
8:19
God confused the wise manager Joe and removed the great worm-killer Derek with the young boy Clayton. And yea, did the lefty surrender the advantage.
8:20
But the Blues arose from this challenge and didst score twice to once again believe they were God's chosen ones.
8:21
But it was not to be as the Phillestines delivered two mighty blows and smote the Dodgers pen, crushing with it any hope of being rendered into the Promise Land.