In sharp contrast to the silly speculation in this thread, the New York Post, proving itself once again to be the bastion of investigative reporting, has revealed the real reason are both off to a slow start this season and most likely the reason they've failed to win a championship for several years:
From today's Post (emphasis added):
Yes, that's correct. We all know how the human respiratory system works: we breathe in air, extract oxygen and exhale primarily carbon dioxide. But the Yankees, the Post has discovered, exhale oxygen!ST. PETERSBURG - As the ball jumped off Robinson Cano's bat and started to climb toward Tropicana Field's roof, you could hear the Yankees New York Yankees ' dugout begin to exhale.
By the time the ball was well into its final approach into the right-field seats, streams of oxygen were spewing onto the field.
How long it's been that the team has been primarily staffed with plant people has not yet been determined.
It's likely in fact that the Yankees aren't the only team using these plant/human hybrids, as much has been written over the past couple of years about "slow starts" by players who are known to be offensive superstars -- but have been less productive than expected until the weather warms up. Much like other plants, these players are more or less inert when the weather is cold but thrive when the sunshine awakens the photosynthesis process, allowing them to begin exhaling oxygen in larger quantities.
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